This is Not the Life I Planned

This is not the life I planned

I’m not where I thought I’d be by now.

But that’s ok with me.

Throughout my teenage years, I had a few different versions of where I thought I’d be at this point in my life.

There was option A:  The one where I get married young.
I’d stay home with the kids for a few years. This one is what is common where I grew up in small town Idaho and it works out great for some people.

Option B: The one where I traveled.
See, at 18, I didn’t know what it meant to stay in the United States for more than a year at a time. Post-college, I saw myself continuing this pattern.

Option C: The one with the fancy job.
I’d be working at a big important job by now as a leader in some big industry.

Along with each of these options came a similar timelines. Get a job, get married by 27, baby by 30. Stable. Secure. Settled. 

The thing is though, I didn’t plan for setbacks or mistakes. I didn’t plan for life to get in the way. I didn’t plan on learning more and having my eyes and heart opened to new possibilities. It’s funny, because we can plan and plan as much as we want. In the end, the universe gives us what we need and takes us down paths we never imagined.

I never saw myself where I am now. I never thought I’d be single for over a year, much less by choice (another post for another day).

I never saw myself feeling so fulfilled by my work that seems so simple from an outside perspective, but means so much and matters in this world so much to those of us involved.

I never saw myself living in Chicago. Alone.

I never knew I’d be this content with NOT knowing what comes next. And that’s the thing I’m learning most- it’s ok. Not too long ago, I would have been terrified of not knowing what comes next. Now, though, I know that things will turn out as they are meant to. I know my life will go down the path it is supposed to, because I will continue to grow and learn just what it is I need to get down that path.

This isn’t the life I planned.

This isn’t where I thought I’d be by now.

But this is exactly where I’m meant to be.

And it is good. So good.

6 thoughts on “This is Not the Life I Planned

  1. jessica lynn

    Good post, and a good take-away no matter where you are in life right now. I never ever saw myself as a mom, and now I have two girls! It’s crazy where life takes us.

  2. Star Traci

    I totally get this! I do not have the life I planned or wanted but I have the life I need. And that’s a beautiful thing. Glad you feel you are right where you should be.

  3. kari

    Great post! I had similar ideas on what I would do and when I would do it. I had this issue when it was time to buy my first house. I wasn’t married, didn’t have kids, and wasn’t anywhere near ready for that lifestyle. But, the best financial option was to buy a house (rents doubled after I bought my house. Buying the house kept me at about the same payment I had for a small one bedroom appt). It never goes the way we plan and I agree It’s ok.

  4. Lizelle

    Beautiful post and well put, so often do I feel this way. I’m pretty sure I had all the same options A B and C not too long ago. It takes a while to come to grips with the realisation that time disagrees with your planning time line but thank God when you can get to that place of contentment with reality and living life in the present and not so much in the plan.

  5. Pingback: This is Not the Life I Planned (Part 2) | The Journey

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