This is Not the Life I Planned (Part 2)

 

not the life I planned

 

In the spirit of vulnerability and keeping things real over here, I feel like I need to do an extension of a post that I wrote a little bit ago.

Yes, it’s 100% true that this is not where I pictured my life going.

And yes, most of the time, I’m ok with that. I trust that my life will turn out as it is meant. This isn’t to say, however, that I don’t have moments of doubt, worry, and absolute panic.

I worry about where I’ll be next year when my service commitment is over. I worry about where I’ll be 6 months from now in the midst of my second year of teaching. Heck, I worry about a month from now when I’ll be into the school year and hanging out with my students and doing grad school stuff at the same time again.

I sometimes doubt that I’m in the right career.

I doubt that I’m taking the right steps relationship-wise that will lead me to be the most fulfilled.

I wonder if I really can have it all.

I panic when I think about 5 and 10 year plans. (Spoiler- I don’t have one!)

What I mean is that this is all a part of it. Despite the worry, the panic, the doubt- in the end I have to tell myself that it will all work out as it should.

I may not have my life planned out. I don’t have a timeline.

But I have hope. And dreams. And goals.

And faith that it will all work itself out.

Somehow. Someday.

It’s all going to be ok.

3 thoughts on “This is Not the Life I Planned (Part 2)

  1. Autumn

    Every time I make a five year plan, it ends up changing so drastically that I get discouraged. So, I just started making goals of things I think would be nice to see happen. I’ve noticed that almost all of those things end up happening 🙂
    Autumn @ Stay gold Autumn

    Reply
  2. Caitlyn Battelle

    Oh goodness, I feel ya on this Destiny. I’m working + grad school as well and it’s a struggle. Last week in class a friend leaned over, and was like “You wonder if this is all gonna work out sometimes right?” And I was just like omg, yes, all the time. We all doubt, but we keep moving forward.

    <3 Caitlyn

    Reply

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