I’m so excited to be taking part in this link up today. I think my heart has been needing a coffee date like our first and I know it will do me some good to sit down virtually with you and have some time to talk about whatever’s on out minds.
If we were sitting down for coffee, I’d ask you how you were. You’d answer with “good!” of course, and tell me some story about work or your pets. But then I’d ask you to tell me how you were, really. What have you been learning lately? What’s been weighing on you?
If we were having coffee, I’d probably order something iced. There’s just something so refreshing about cold coffee when the weather’s hot and you’re in a comfortable space. I’ve felt renewed after last weekend’s quick jaunt to the ocean, and I know it was exactly what I needed.
If we were having coffee, it might take me a while, but I’d confide in you that I’ve been struggling lately with feeling overwhelmed by all that is involved in getting ready for TFA. I’d tell you that there are moments when I want to throw my hands up in the air and hide under my blankets until it all goes away. Of course, I know I can’t do that, and that I am more than capable of doing this, but it would feel good to get the words out there.
I’d tell you that I feel like the kids whose lives I will be able to touch will make it all worth it. I know I am entering into an extremely difficult phase of my life, but I really feel like I can be good at this and that I will come out the other side 2 years later- stronger, better, wiser, and with a master’s degree.
I’d tell you that I still go back and forth between feeling great about my placement with pre-k and kindergarten and feeling resentful and that I won’t be able to do as much I would be able to with children a couple years older.
I’d tell you that being in Chicago still scares me, deeply. Though I’ve gotten past the initial shock of the neighborhood my school is in and I’ve begun to feel more capable of handling whatever it throws at me, there is a part of me that is still terrified. There is a part of me that still needs to spend time crying to my mom, or D, about how scared I was that day and learning that this is to be a normal part of my life.
I’d tell you that despite all of the negative thoughts that are spinning in my head about what I am doing, my heart feels peace about it, and I absolutely still want to do this.
After pouring all of this out of on you, I’d ask you for encouragement and support in this. I know it is hard to hear about the news of crime in the city and know that a friend will be purposefully stepping into a place like that, but please try not to worry. I will, of course, be as safe as possible, and I will be careful. I know I will be ok.
So, my friend, what would you want to tell me on a coffee date? What has your heart been needing to talk about?